Reality Check

I'm in a mood right now that I really dislike. I'm weird and giggly for no apparent reason, but also kind of randomly on the verge of tears. It's not normal. But I've just come to the realization that, well...I am. Normal, that is.

Not even so much normal as just average. Normal I can deal with. Average is rather upsetting.

What I'm saying is that there is nothing special or striking about me. I'm completely run-of-the-mill. My appearance is completely normal. I'm average height (no matter how many times people tell me I'm short), I'm a little chubby, but not anything where people would be like 'Wow, she's super fat', I keep myself up well enough. I wear cute clothes (I think?) and I don't do anything outrageous with my makeup.

I have cool friends who do cool things and know cool people. I'm feeling like I kind of don't deserve them. I have friends who are ridiculously intelligent. I have friends who are ridiculously talented. I suddenly really don't know why they like me.

There is nothing awesome about me. I'm a completely average high school student with very little presence. I'm a completely average high school journalist. I started off kind of awesome, and now I'm just average. When I was little, I was musically inclined and now I'm barely even average, and I've basically given up. I used to be a really smart elementary school kid, and was known in my 6th grade science class as 'the smart girl'. Now I'm average-ish.

This is not a good thing. Now should really be a time when I should be standing out. But evidently, I'm not.

I've always just wanted to be memorable. I'm thinking I'm failing at that.