This is Weird

Sooo. I recently realized that I have this fear that people don't actually like me. It's weird. I've never really had that kind of insecurity before. I guess I used to not really care if people liked me or not. But I think I've finally realized how catty and awful high school is (I know. Really? I'm a junior in high school and I'm just now seeing how ugly it is? Don't worry - I'm super perplexed too). I've mostly been trying to figure out why people like me. If they like me, as they claim to. I feel like I have some friends that I'm really unsure why they like me. I don't really know if it's a self-esteem thing, or if I'm reading too much into everything and being too over-analytical, or if people are just as fake as I fear they are. (There might be some people out there reading this who are thinking it's in reference to them. Don't worry. It's not. I hope?) This is sounding entirely too emo and I hadn't planned on that happening. My original intention was to write something at least semi-amusing, but it's not really coming out that way. I'm going to keep trying. So I've been wondering why people put up with me. And if they put up with me simply because they feel obligated to put up with me, or if they genuinely like me and my weird quirks. Like my irrational fear of tomato seeds. And my penchant for screaming whenever my Pop-Tarts pop out of the toaster. Or the bizarre fact that I seem to kind of have a little bit of my own language and that I sometimes make weird and random noises. Or that I have too many Tweets/Facebook statuses. Or that I write nonsensical blog posts like this. I don't know what I was hoping to accomplish through this post, but I've come too far just to delete it, so I guess I'm going to publish it... If you're reading this, I apologize. I don't like that this is one huge block of text, but Blogger is apparently deciding to be a little bitchy today and not let me start different paragraphs. Oh well. I'm going to stop talking now.