Suspended Reality

Hi. It's been awhile. I'm sorry. Also I should be sleeping right now (why do I feel like a lot of my blog posts open with that?) but I felt the need to reach out...into that black, dark hole of nothingness that I send my thoughts into.

Anyway, I've realized that I've been confusing my dreams with reality a lot lately. Which, honestly, is kind of depressing. It says that I dream about stuff that's mundane enough that I can easily get it mixed up with my reality. Like school. The other night, I had a dream that I went to do my Chemistry post-lab questions and there was only 1. I was really disappointed when I went to do them for real in study hall the next morning and there were 4 instead of just 1.

That same night, I dreamed that I read the wrong English essay for a homework assignment. It was the same title, but the completely wrong essay. I read the one that was 12 pages long, and we were supposed to read the one that was a page and a half long. I remember being really perplexed in my dream. Why were there two essays named the same thing? That's misleading.

Yeah, the following day was a little like "Groundhog Day," only not really.

But I also got to thinking...you know that state you fall into where you're not sleeping, but not NOT sleeping? Where everything is peaceful, and calm, and simple? The one where everything seems perfect, or at least until you start falling?

I like it there. And for all intents and purposes, I'm going to call it 'suspended reality.' I'm sure it has a technical dreamology-related term, but I prefer to think of it as suspended reality.

But doesn't it seem like everything is better in suspended reality? It's better than reality. It's better than dreaming, even, because sometimes, as I've come to realize, reality infiltrates your dreams. We use dreaming as an escape from reality, but what happens when reality takes over, especially when we don't particularly want it to? I mean, it's one thing if your reality is perfectly wonderful, and everything you want it to be. Then it's okay if you want to spend all your time there. It's understandable. But I feel like that's not really all that realistic. Or common. I'm starting to think suspended reality is our only escape from our reality, which we often can't control, and our dreams, which can't really be controlled either.

I can't control suspended reality, or anything, but it sure is quaint there.