What Doesn't Kill Me...

makes me stronger, right? I'm not so sure. I'm testing it out. Today was a good testing day. It was a good testing day, but all around it was the kind of day that made me want to kick puppies. (Not really, but, you know...).

Anyway, my string of bad luck literally started the minute I got up this morning. I was putting my make-up on this morning when my phone made its cute little 'Hey, you have a new text message sound'. I knew it couldn't be anyone other than Chelsea to update me on the posting of the 'Beauty and the Beast' cast list because I'm too lazy (and too chicken) to look at it myself.

I won't lie. My expectations were low. I mostly expected another spectacular failure - which IS what I got. Still. No matter how many times I say I don't really care, it does still hurt. And not just a little. Just so you know.

Anyway, this was the succession of text messages:
Chelsea - If it helps at all I'm REALLY upset.
Me - Uh oh.
Chelsea - I'm just... Wow. Not impressed. Just. Wow.
Me - Hmm. I'm half-tempted to check it out.

Not that I did. Still haven't. So that kind of set the tone for the day. Apparently the cast is WAY jacked up and Chelsea seems to everything was poor judgment on their part.
Whatever.
When I got to school, I had to take a horrendous Spanish test, complete with two essay questions that needed to be answered entirely in Espanol. 'Nuff said.

Then I went to English and had to churn out a really sad essay about all the tragedies and such in "The Grapes of Wrath", which, pathetically, was probably one of the highest points of my day. The essay's tone seemed to match my general mood, so we got along pretty well. Although, GOD ONLY KNOWS how well I did on THAT because I got an 86 on my memoir. I'm REALLY disappointed with myself. I just feel like everything so far this year has progressed in a rapidly spinning downward spiral and I'm really not too happy about it.

However, I do have to admit that watching 'Forensic Files' in Chem was pretty amusing, even though I'd already seen one of the episodes she played for us (which, WTF? I've watched 'Forensic Files' probably twice in my life... HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?). Choir was typical and we had to do the creepy back massage thing which I am still not comfortable with. And then, newspaper, which I thought to be my reprive, betrayed me. Rather, AOL betrayed me and wouldn't let me in to get to my e-mail so my plan for the day was shot. But going to take staff headshots was rather entertaining.

And yes, it did brighten my life a little bit when I walked into Gov. to find Mr. Cummings jamming to some Frank Sinatra. But then I had to go to math, and remembered that I was experiencing a completely different downward spiral in that class.
Happy happy joy joy.

So anyway, to go back to the beginning, I think 'what doesn't kill me makes me stronger' is a lie. I don't think I've gained anything through today. I really just want to curl up in my Snuggie and cry for a while and eat the remaining Halloween Oreos that are sitting on the top of the stove. However, I won't do that because then I really would gain something - pounds. I think 'Next to Normal' says it better:
"What doesn't kill me doesn't kill me." And maybe that's all.